Is It Necessary to Talk About Sex in Couples Therapy?

Contrary to popular belief, couples therapy doesn’t always mean your relationship has to be on the rocks. You might be going through a rough patch. Maybe you feel like some of your “spark” is gone.

Or maybe you just want to find better ways to effectively communicate and boost your intimacy with each other.

Whatever the case, there are a few common subjects you’re likely to cover in couples therapy.

That includes sex.

Do you have to talk about sex? At the end of the day, your therapy sessions are what you make of them. No one is going to force you to talk about anything. However, sex is an integral part of your relationship and a subject that’s necessary to talk about in couples therapy if you really want to cover your bases and build intimacy.


It’s More Than a Communication Issue

It’s common for couples to come into therapy suggesting they have issues communicating. After some digging, it’s easy to see that those communication issues aren’t just problematic in the day-to-day routines. They’ve become issues in the bedroom, too. However, it’s easier for most people to say they have communication issues rather than saying they want more sexual intimacy.

It’s important to be able to differentiate the two. While communication and intimacy go hand-in-hand, sexual intimacy is in a different category.

By working on your communication issues outside of the bedroom, you’ll feel closer and more in-tune as a couple. From there, you can dig deeper into working on your sexual communication issues. Doing one without the other is likely to still leave you wanting more sexual intimacy with your partner.

It Shows Vulnerability

It can be a little uncomfortable for everyone to talk openly about sex. Maybe you’re not even comfortable talking about it with your partner, let alone a “stranger”.

However, that’s one of the reasons why it’s so important.

If you don’t have vulnerability in your relationship, you also won’t have intimacy. Talking about your sex life with each other is a solid first step in boosting your sexual intimacy and feeling more comfortable in the bedroom.

You might be surprised by how much more comfortable you are talking to your partner about sex when there’s a therapist guiding you to open up and be vulnerable.

You’ll learn the skills necessary to take that vulnerability back to the bedroom, so you can continue to express your needs and wants to each other, and feel a sense of closeness that may have been missing before.

You’ll Learn More About Each Other

Sometimes, partners are comfortable talking with each other about sex but aren’t sure how to start the conversation. Or, you may have talked about it before but didn’t get into deep thoughts and desires.

For example, how do each of you define sex? Are you both satisfied with every aspect of your sex life? What would you like to change? How does your sexual intimacy impact your relationship?

If you’ve never discussed these things with your partner, couples therapy will give you that opportunity. Any time you can learn more about your partner’s understanding of your sexual relationship, as well as their needs and wants, it’s a win-win situation.

So, is it necessary to talk about sex in couples therapy? Again, it’s up to you and how much you’re willing to share. However, it’s a normal part of the process and a necessary communicative tool that will build intimacy, strengthen your relationship, and improve your sex life.

If you’re interested in finding a couples therapist or couples counselor near you that can help with all facets of your relationship including sex and intimacy please use our online directory to search for a therapist in your area.   We can help match you with a therapist that is dedicated to working with couples.  Click here to start your 100% free online search for couples counseling near you.  You may also click the “Find a Therapist” button below and enter your zip code to find couples counseling near you.

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